5 Ways to Survive Suicide

According to the World Heath Organization (WHO), for every suicide there may be 20 suicide attempts, and in 2000 there were one million suicide deaths. This represents a mortality rate of one person dying every 40 seconds somewhere in the world.  And a person who has made a serious suicide attempt is between 20 and 50 percent more likely to succeed than one who has not.

For the past ten years I have beaten this statistic, along with the other 50 to 80 percent of the population of people who have attempted suicide and survived. I don’t know how they do it, I can only tell you how I have managed and hope that you will see some light among these few crumbs. The darkness lingers, but the sun shines in the morning.

1. Build a support network of people who want to see you live. When I got out of the hospital the hardest tasks I faced were calling my sister and my friends and telling them I had tried to kill myself. Facing their reactions opened my eyes to the pain I had caused them and the simple matter that someone who kills herself does not make all the pain simply go away. She transfers that burden of pain onto the friends and family who have been trying to help her for so many years, and that pain may cause more death. Suicide continues cycles of violence. It turns the wheel of karma and burdens the world with more pain. There is no relief that way. Every friend begged me to call them if I ever thought of doing it again. I have made use of that outlet several times since then. Many times before I lingered in the mistaken belief that my friends did not want to hear my sorrow. But I forgot that I was not giving my friends and family a chance to love me, and those missed connections were the very things that could have nurtured me with the strength to fight my mental illness. I don’t make that mistake any more.
2. Build a relationship with a mental health professional and follow your therapy. I have had several doctors through the years but in the past few years I have been very lucky to have found a caring doctor who has helped me make real progress understanding my PTSD, its root causes, and what it takes to cope with my anxiety and depression on a day to day basis. I take my medication like I’m supposed to and I keep my husband informed of my doctor’s instructions, and I always know my doctor’s number should things get dicey. Acknowledging that you need support and that you bear a mental illness is not weakness; it is strength. It is the ones who think they can manage their own brains that are the fools, and while I joke that I can’t imagine how anyone makes it in this world without a little anti-anxiety medication, I know that as much as I wish I didn’t need my meds, they help me maintain my over-sensitive system. Without them I’d be a shaking wreck responding to every tree branch shiver like a mortar round. Trust me on that one.
3. Spend time with animals. This may sound simple but my cats save my life. Being with them brings me peace every single day because they love me no matter what crazy shit is in my head and what crazy shit comes out of my mouth, and they always want to be near me. There is nothing like unconditional love to make you feel whole, and you can’t get it from humans, they don’t have the patience for it. But pets are patient and they expect so very little in return. They also seem to sense when you are distraught and know when to offer extra support. Also, caring for another being takes you out of your own selfishness and gives you a purpose in life.
4. Become involved in something greater than yourself. Volunteering to help other people, in whatever small way you can, can help you overcome your own illness because it takes the focus off of you. Not only does it distract you from your own problems, but giving of yourself freely brings you back more joy than you can possibly imagine. I have been involved with Mothers Against Drunk Driving for several years now and though what I do for them is very minor, in the long run, providing my small talents to them brings me back so many, many gifts. Trust me, helping out will heal your heart.
5. Find the things that make you laugh and insist on doing them often. My husband and I love being together and going to ball games, and we tease each other and have a good time. Richard has a wicked sense of humor and we like to laugh, and I make a point to get off my butt and go out with him as much as I can and enjoy our time together. When we go to a game, I refuse to be negative or talk about mundane crap at all—I force myself to focus on the game and be as close to 100% present as I can. I scream, I yell at the refs, I cheer every play, and I enjoy the game a thousand times more, I think, than the people I see who seem to sit there moping or worse, texting (!) stuck in their own little worlds. Be here now. It’s a simple thing that can be hard to execute at times, but if I focus on it and make it a goal—just living in the moment—I find the times goes by and later, only later, I realize I’m happy.

And I’m happy a whole lot more than I’m sad. And thoughts of death just don’t enter my head that much. Which means I’ve changed. And if I can do it, anyone can.